Kenya's Midlife Crisis - part 2

Mzalendo,
I promised, on Dec 17th that i will delve into how Kenya came to where it is; in a midlife crisis.

Later, I sought to define mid-life crisis as follows: "A suspension in time and space, movement in a cage, being beaten with blunt objects so that even when you feel pain, you look whole"

In this window, I would like to take us through the journey to the present.

No I wont go to the gorry details of how the independence dream of Uhuru na Mashamba was turned to hakuna vya bure(as if people had not fought the British, shed blood and died and were holed up in the caves all over the forests of Kenya) and conveniently shaped into uhuru na kazi.

Indeed i will be so kind as to not even bore you with the story of the changing the constitution to entrench an imperial presideny, nor will i bore you with stuff such as the fact that Mau Mau was termed by the emergent leaders as a disease and that more Mau Mau fighters were killed by the Kenyan government in two years than the British had killed in ten years (since of course, there are no records! only stories of people generally refered to as demented)

I will be very careful not to bore you with the cannonisation of kanu (no pun intented) and the subsequent truth of detention for KPU people or the assassination of Mboya or even with the details of the man whose body was found by a Maasai herder in 1975 for holding such funny ideas as land redistribution to the poor or the nonfactual nonesense of ten million beggars and ten millionaires. I will not do this because I am sure you wont grow fat if know who killed JM Kariuki

I will avoid telling you about the story of the passing cloud that was moi which later became a cloud full of terror rain that reigned supreme after the aborted coup de tat of 1982.

I promise to restrain myself from detailing the doings of the dejure kanu state. It's not important for me to tell you that University dons, students, and other people of conscience were arrested, detained, killed, hounded out of the country, and tortured to confess to being in mwakenya(a totally bad movement i must agree)and that with judges denied security of tenure, these people were convicted at nights and sentenced to life imprisonment or death for such crimes as treason. I am sure its not important to mention a few names such as Maina wa Kinyati and many others

No, I will not bother to tell you about the political heat generated at the close of the 80's and opening of the 90's by such people as Kenneth Matiba, Oginga Odinga and others. They were tortured, yes, and some have yet to recover, but it is not important to say. I will not tell you that the "mugumo and razor blade" metaphor man aka kibaki, was a moi operative, financed to divide the opposition then with his division party since you can easily inform me that this is not news.

I would have wanted to tell you that the repeal of section 2A and the consequent multi-party democracy was indeed the genesis of what came to be called tribal clashes and that after the commission by akiwumi, the clashes were found to be just insignificant disturbances in the provinces and therefore the report was shelved...valueless... But i will not tell you because it is not important.

I intend to ensure that you are not bored by the events prior to the elections of 1997. It would be pointless and irresponsible of me to point out that there was a statehouse (moihouse call) that made kibaki, raila, ngilu and their entourage leave the Ufungamano hall just when the Ufungamano led constitutional initiative was convening as a Constituent Assembly to give Kenya a new constitution. So i wont tell you at all.

Neither will i bother with such triffles as the fact of a refurbished kanu outfit we celebrated as reformists after the 2003 elections only for us to be shocked and chocked with the tall tell of an mou (i will give you twenty cents if you have ever seen it) and the collapse of governance. Such silly details as the fact the ministers walked out of Bomas when it seemed like the people would want to exercise real power will never find a place in my writing.

It is insignificant and careless indeed to talk about smiley wako's efforts -at the bidding of his masters - to ensure that we did not have a new constitution...he is indeed a good man who was given one instruction by two opposing sides "make it so bad that it will be impossible to sell bananas even if we have the exchequer and so lethal that it can be taken to the orange market only at night".

I will not tell you that there has been an offensive against young male people who are unemployed; that they have been killed with impunity over the time since michuki first gave such orders - it is not true!

It is totally unacceptable for me to say that there was a crisis over the elections of Dec 27th 2007. Which crisis? So i won't say it. There were only a few hundred thousands displaced and slightly over one thousand killed. A mere triffle. I will dare not tell you that the important thing is that kibaki has a motorcade (complete with outriders) and his hench people in posh jobs; that raila has a motorcade(complete with outriders) and his spanner people are in posh jobs; that kalonzo has a motorcade (complete with outriders)and his bootlickers are in posh postings. I will not tell you because it is useless for me to say such useless things.

Noting that you are busy, i will resist from telling you such rumours as there are people in IDP camps or even that they were allocated kshs10,000 at some point but most got only a fraction of that, or even such nonesense as the fact that we may not get a new and people centred constitution any time soon or even such debased talk such as the fact media bill is meant to ensure that the media is sing-songing the establishment or it is Artured! No, i know you have better things to do with your time.

I will avoid telling you that there will be worse to come or that the country may be in a worse crisis very soon because it is entirely not true - and i will be the last person to peddle rumours.

SO HELP ME GOD, so that i do not tell you all this nonesense but concentrate on the useful things....