Kenyans...oh Kenyans!

I have been telling you guys I think you have a problem with hearing...either that or you have such a silly false sense of pride, that you are totally out of sync with commonsense.

I have told you that we can ignore you, just like Jesus ignored the pigs in the demon exorcism...the pigs and pigherds were held in contempt and condemned...head on.

Now, look at you, we have in the past said that what you call media is nonesense...for the avoidance of doubt, newspapers are items used by butchers...I should add, by kilaiku guys. We told you that and you never listened.

After 2007 you guys went ahead to say that we mobilised violence that led to over 1300 pax dying... ignoramuses...who was counting the bodies? And where were they standing as they counted? And did anyone see us holding a knife, machette, spear or gun? Listen, if there were people who died, they killed themselves, committed suicide...period! Na mundu wa kwiyita ndaiiawa! Prove: you said we shall be punished, went to church and Hague to have us indicted...what was the result? Your God is deaf and the ICC is made of bright guys who know you are numskulls.

We told you that passing the Constitution was dump, and you went ahead to do it. See what we have done with it? We have passed any law we wanted, and will still do...we have ignored what you call principles and have led to our continued private prosperity. Mtadoo? Idiots. You have no capacity to learn.

We own the gas you cook with, the stores you shop in, the milk your silly cows produce, the donkey butcheries, the media, the Non governmental outfits and even the hotels you take your spouses and children for exotic meals and entertainment. We have even formed a Sacco that refuses to buy your afflatoxinated maize but owns ships (complete with posho mills) docked in the high seas just outside Mombasa for quick fixes of your piggerylike insatiable hunger for maize flour from our neigbouring Mexican farms owned by our government (again you think it's yours').

We own you.

Get annoyed and go drink...we own the breweries. Get pissed off and go out to take a walk...we own the tractors that did the road you are walking on. Get mad and call the radio or TV to rant at the state of undevelopment you have witnessed... thanks, we own the radio station, the TV station and the airwaves.

Want to take a rope and hang yourselves? Go ahead. All sisal and manila products are our franchise.

Today am told you were all primed to have us asked some bastardly questions by our, OUR, media employees. Surely, have you no sense? Can you actually be helped?

But we must thank our God for your insipid stupidity. Those who paid their startimes, zuku etc to watch what you called a debate actually need to be thanked. A few more shillings was deposited to our accounts. We killed two birds with one stone....immobilised you and earned.

Surely, how do you expect us to come to a controlled space, where you can look at us and scare us from bolting in a Biwottian hearse, to sit there and be asked inane questions by our pawns?

And now, I am told, some of you are sad and calling us names. Imagine!

Ko mute ndia ila imelasya uta!

You marbles were sold to the forest nymphs. Didn't even check that the Mau prime forest was already in our pockets, complete with the Ongiek dividend!!!

And you go around saying you are proudly Kenyan. Asi! Whoever is your peddler needs a promotion.

And for your information, on Tuesday 8th August, you will wake up and go vote for us. Make no mistake. Even if you don't vote, we shall still win. Ithingo!!!

Idiots. We are so lucky to live around this place that you inhabit. Hatuami.